Wednesday, 31 December 2014

I am going to be soooooo BAD

I really didn't want to write any blog till next year because I felt it was not necessary. So I woke up this morning and something in my heart said "there is one person out there somewhere who needs confirmation on certain decisions as we approach the new year".
In my head I thought "so"? As I went about preparing for New Year's Eve it occurred to me that some people like me, seriously need God to use the simplest things to confirm what has been in their hearts.
2014 has been a very eventful, dramatic, miraculous, life changing and amazing year for my family and I.

In all of it I give all the glory and honor to God who never left me. No matter how tough some situations were, he always had a way to bring us out of it. So, it tells me that he wants me to keep pushing and keep standing because I have a lot to do to fulfill my purpose.
My theme for 2015 is "DO IT BIG". Whatever it is I want to do, as long as it fall is in line with my purpose, I am going to do it BIG regardless of what anyone has to say about it.
Stella is going to be soooooooooooo BAD (Bold And Daring) that people might start to wonder who her Godfather is.

I am pushing against the status quo and against mediocrity, so when you see a lot of changes around me don't be surprised at all.
The entire world is waiting to benefit from decisions that I will make today and it's waiting for you too, so instead of sitting down and wondering what others are doing so you can form Your own negative opinions, start to do things that will make people wonder what YOU are doing.
I don't know about you but I am determined to be a game changer, norm breaker, culture changer and world influencer.

So my message for HATERS is this, "you have to be very very PATIENT if you want more things to talk about because I am going to be doing so many powerful and big things. You may need to multi
task because they will be so much that you will run out of breathe just trying to keep up. In fact, 2015 will decide if you are strong enough to keep up with me and my BLESSINGS or if you just want to try and get your own BLESSINGS".

To those who want to succeed not just in work but in family, in relationships, in businesses and other things, I wish you the favor and grace of God upon everything that you want. God bless and keep you and yours now and always.

Happy New Year.

Some people complained that they did not get to read my last new year post. If you still want to read it then by all means have fun and see you next year.


I am starting my year with a twenty one day fast and asking God for strength to see it through.
I know the things that I need God to do for me and my family! I also know that I need answers and direction from God.

Most importantly I know that it is time to stop wasting my time and face my calling regardless of what people will say or think.

I know That I want to build my relationship with God and advertise him to the world with all that he has given me.
I also know that it is time for you all to step out in faith and the live the best life you were called to live.
As the world draws closer to its end, we all need to be mindful of what we absorb from this world and society
We all need to know where we stand and who we stand for
We all need to know for a fact, what we are doing and when we are supposed to do it
We all need to know where we are heading and not be guided by the expectations of people.
I am not going to waste my time in 2014,
I am not going to look the way people expect me to look but the way i know I should look
I am not going to spend money on irrelevant things when there are are hungry and uneducated children out there who need help
I am not going to attend an event because people expect me to, but because I am supposed to
I am not going to comment on something because the world is expecting a reaction from me but speak as the Holy Spirit leads me
I am not going to be afraid to do the things God has asked me to do because of the impression some people have of me
I am not going to please man and offend God
I am not going to keep friends who are not willing to follow the will of God and encourage me to love him
I am not going to beg or seek for validation from man but from God who has already validated and endorsed me
I am not going to say I am not good enough or I am not qualified because God created me for such a time as this
I am not going to run away from the real me just because I want to retain fans and friends
I will be happy and joyful
I will live my life to the full
I will love and praise God who is the creator of all things
I will stand by the truth I know, no matter what
I will love and pray for my enemies no matter how difficult it is
I will run away from evil and his people
I will tell those who care to listen about the God I have come to know
I will sing the songs that I have always wanted to sing whether my voice is wonderful or not

I will spend my time on important things
I will not follow unnecessary trend when I know it is not good for me
I will be content with what I have and where I am
I will encourage and teach all those who are in my life
These are not new year resolutions but decisions I know I should have made long ago.
2014 is the year that we should all sit back and find out from God who we are, what our purpose is and how to go about it.
2014 is the year we should all be free to do the work that we would enjoy and be paid for doing it.
2014 is the year of our financial freedom and breakthrough
2014 is the year that we will all realize the Most important things in life
2014 is the year that jealousy, envy and gossip will no longer hold us back from our blessings and favor
2014 is the year we will stand for what is right and just
2014 is the year we stop thinking about ourselves alone but about every child created by God

I declare freedom to everyone
Freedom to be the you whom God has created
Freedom to do what you have been called to do
Freedom to love and live freely
Freedom from hiding behind society
Freedom to explore the things you have always wanted
Freedom to live regardless of what the world might say
Freedom to be happy without any apologies
Freedom to love and praise God in public regardless of your mistakes
It's not too late to say I am sorry
It's not too late to say I love you
It's not too late to say forgive me
It's not too late to show kindness
It's not too late to give
It's not too late to pray
It's not too late to change
In fact, the time is now.

Happy new year and God bless you all. Love ya loads.

Wednesday, 3 December 2014

It's been 10 Years

Every morning I open my eyes from sleep, the first words that come to my lips are 'Thank You Lord for the miracle of sleeping and waking up'. I am thankful to God for his grace, his favor, his blessings and also for the privilege he gave me to have had an amazing man in my life who was my friend and husband. JAIYE, today makes it 10 whole years that that you left us here to a better place.

It's been 10 long years without your words of wisdom, your gentle personality and your warm heart. You were a source of strength for me and everybody that came in contact with you. Yes, you left us suddenly but the impact your short life had on this earth will stay with us forever.

I miss you Jay but I know you're in a better place. Thank you for showing me what true love is and for making me know how it feels to truly love and be loved. It is my prayer that people at some point in their lives get to experience someone as great as you.

I've learnt to live life. Love life. I've learnt to appreciate every moment of it because sometimes those moments may be lost forever and never return. I've learnt to say I'm sorry to those who I hurt because I may never get a chance to say it tomorrow. I've learnt to say I love you to those who I love because they may not be here tomorrow to hear it from me. I learnt to say goodbye to those who are in my life as barriers because they may be holding me back from extending love and gratitude to those who should get it. I have learnt to be me for me. Thank you Jaiye because you brought that out in me.

I am grateful for the life I shared with you. I am grateful for who I am now because Sharing a life with you made me a better person. I miss you and the girls miss you too.

Continue to rest in peace Jaiyejeje Aboderin.


Thursday, 10 July 2014

Unnecessary Approval

I know it has been a while since my last blog, I wanted to apologize for that but then again I thought if it was intentional and I had my reasons, why act like it was a mistake?
So instead I said to myself, if you have something really important to say then share it but if you are busy and trying to finish some other projects then don't force yourself to write just anything because you have a blog.

People write blogs weekly, some even daily but that is not my driving force or motivation. We have different reasons why we all have blogs. This brings me to the topic of this message "seeking unnecessary approval from social media".

So I read two devotionals today and to my surprise they were saying practically the same things.
The first one talked about how we are creatures of approval. We all depend on what other people think of us and say about us before we evaluate ourselves.
The truth is, a lot of people wake up in the morning and the first thing they do is check their social media pages even before they say good morning to anyone. They want to see who has liked their pictures, how many followers their friends and colleagues have in comparison to how many they have, how many Facebook requests they have, who has said what about who, and so many other things that are not beneficial to their lives.

People now hide under the guise of  social media to give their "supreme" opinions about other people's affairs but can't show their faces, it has become the major identity of a lot of people. Human beings have sold their true identities by acquiring screen names to cause harm to others.
People would rather sneak to private places in their offices to check out who is wearing what to an event and who they think is SEXIER, then they go on popular sites to pass judgement on others with such venom that you will wonder if they have even met the person.

All of a sudden social media feeds us with what to wear, what to do, where to go, who to hate, who to like, who to follow, what to follow, how to marry, how to look,  how to make babies and so many ridiculous things. If you take a few steps back, you will ask yourself where our own brains and minds have gone?
Have we become so dependent on other people's opinions that we have lost our own identities?
Are we will still wondering why we have not been able to live our dreams, make money, achieve our goals?
What if it is because we have ended up living other people's dreams based on what they expect of us to do?
What if we have lost touch with who we were created to be because we follow trends created by others?
What if we can never have a fulfilled life because we choose to let people like us determine our right from our wrong?

I am not saying social media is bad, please don't get me wrong. But I fear for those who have turned it into their BIBLE and their life manual. We no longer have a mind of our own to research or question any information we receive.
We just depend on whatever one person has sat down in their living rooms to construct. Then you wonder how one person who is not even in the same country as you, knows what happened inside your bathroom. Then we read it and share it, others pick up on it and all of a sudden it becomes the TRUTH. It goes on google so that when the victims name or company name is typed, people get to see a story that was started by one person siting in a small cubicle with a small laptop.

Some people have accused me of not being in tune with my fans, they have called me a snob they have said I don't respond instantly to messages. I know that when it's a direct message it's  easier  for me to respond. But how do I spend hours everyday responding to over a hundred thousand people at the same time.We all try to respond to as many as we can in a day but I can't possibly respond to all.

Contrary to popular beliefs by these naysayers, STELLA has a life, she has a family and she has work to do as well. Entertainers are not jobless people who sit around waiting for people to send messages so they can respond.
Besides like I have said I am not on Facebook anymore so anyone expecting to hear from me there is wasting their time.
I don't wake up every morning and run to check twitter or Instagram. I go there when I can to communicate with as many people as I can, and I only put info or pictures out that I feel are necessary to share.

Some have also said that I don't have as many followers as others, that made me laugh a lot because they did not realize that I don't go snooping around to find out what others have that I don't. The fact that I have a group of people who are dedicated fans and follow me is more than enough for me to be grateful to God. I don't look around for who is doing what or who has what, neither do I do things because others are doing it.

Our destinies and purpose are totally different. So when people try to compare, it becomes strange for them when I respond by laughing. They don't understand why I don't care about too many things. I have tried to let people know that I have discovered the most important things in life and what my everyday goal is, anything outside of that is a waste of time and energy.

If your so hooked on social media and you are not using it to grow your clientele for your business then you need to re-evaluate yourself and who have become.

Stella Damasus
"It's not what people say you are, It's who God says you are"

Tuesday, 27 May 2014

There's Nothing Happy About It

Today is supposed to be a happy day, it’s supposed to be a day were we celebrate our children but we (Nigeria) still have over 200 children missing.

I have decided to put myself in the place of those mothers and wonder how they would feel today, when everybody is celebrating children’s day and their own children are not with them. I really wonder how they feel, I wonder how they cope!

So today I’m not saying Happy Children’s with true happiness from within me. I am actually praying for these women, these men and for their children to come back safely. Then can we can have a children’s day that is Happy!

For now, there is really nothing happy about today.

{ Stella Damasus Speaks on Abducted Nigerian Girls #BringBackOurGirls: }

Friday, 9 May 2014

Happy Birthday Mummy!

The woman who gave birth to my humble self. She is a strong and brave woman who has been there for me through thick and thin, she is my hero. No one can ever really understand what she has done for me and who she has been to me. She is more than a mother, she is my best friend and number one fan. I can't thank her enough for the love, support and friendship she has given me even when I know I didn't deserve it. God bless you now and always mummy and I know that daddy is in heaven smiling down at you and thanking you for all you have continued to do for us.  Happy birthday "FINE GAL".

Monday, 5 May 2014

Keep your children safe!

"Warning to all parents with children that have any electronic devices, eg. Ipod, Tablets,phones etc. There is an app called Talking Angela. This app asks kids personal questions like their names, where they go to school and also takes pictures of their faces by pushing a heart on the bottom left corner of the device without any notices this information can then be used for kidnapping and child pornography. Please check all children's devices to make sure they don't have this app and also talk to them about the dangers of it. Please pass this to family,friends and other Parents.
Important Message for every girl who goes to college or office alone. If you find any child crying on the road showing his/her address and asking you to take him/her to that address, take that child to the police station and please don't take them to that address. It is a way of gangs to steal, rape & kidnap girls. Please Forward it all. Our message may save a girl."

I saw this in my mail and as usual I got worried and started doing research on it. Some people believe this is really a big issue especially in America, while some say it's a hoax, just the way some people are saying that the over 200 girls that were abducted by the Boko Haram group is a hoax.

As far as I am concerned, anything at all that can make my children give out personal information to an app is not safe. We have all fallen for a lot of internet scams and traps without even realizing it.  Too much information is required for you to download things or join something.

I personally believe that whether you think talking Angela is a hoax or not, you still need to have that conversation with your children who have their own electronic devices.

A lot of people thought I was too old fashioned and uninformed when I spoke about my children and social media in an episode of "Stella Damasus diaries" on YouTube. They said I was being too strict with my children but I didn't mind the criticisms at all. However, I stood my ground and made my children understand why. Let me do what I think is right for my own children and you deal with yours. It will not stop me from sharing tips and ideas on what has worked for me so far, so that those who find them useful can use it to help themselves and their children.

I still believe that your children who are not mature enough should not be exposed to social media. Even when they have their own devices you have to know what apps they have in them, I try to learn about every app on my children's phones and even know how they work. I ask them questions everyday and get them to teach me what they know. The best way to get around this is by making them believe that they are teaching you something you don't know, that way they are comfortable enough to share with you. It's also a great way to spend time together and bond.

Sometimes we feel these things cannot happen to our children because of the way we have raised them, but the truth is that no matter how honest, well behaved and good your children are, they can innocently fall into a trap by thinking they are playing  a game from an app their friends told them about.

There is an app for everything in the world you can think of and we all believe these things are created to help make life easier. I am not saying that it is not true, I am just saying that we depend on these things so much that we even trust them to help our children solve their problems because we are too busy to give them attention.

Please do not allow the internet replace you as parents,
Do not allow the internet be the only teacher your children know at home,
Do not allow the internet become their best friend and confidant,
Do not allow the internet build their minds and turn them into things that we cannot handle when they become teenagers,
Do not allow the internet take over your home.
Pay attention to what your children are doing, the kind of games they are playing, the kind of apps they are downloading, the kind of songs and videos they are interested in and the kind of searches they go into everyday.
They are worth the time and trouble.

{ Stella Damasus Speaks on Abducted Nigerian Girls : }

It's not who people say you are, it's who God says you are.

Thursday, 3 April 2014

Current Happenings on the Tobacco Control Bill

A major deficit to the regulation of tobacco in Nigeria is the inefficiency or lack of legislation. Different bills have been raised in both the Senate and the House of Representatives but unfortunately, they have not been successfully passed into law. There are currently two tobacco bills waiting to be enacted; a 2012 bill sponsored in the Senate by Senator Ifeanyi Okowa and a more recent 2013 bill raised in the House of Representatives, sponsored by Hon. Yacoob Bush-Alebiosu.

However, at the 6th session of the National Assembly which lasted between 2007 to 2011, the National Tobacco Control Bill, was formally presented & finally approved by the Senate for passage at its seating on Tuesday March 15th 2011. This happened twenty five (25) months after its initial presentation to the Senate and was a monumental victory for Nigerians, both young and old, especially minors, public health, tobacco control in Nigeria and for the Coalition Against Tobacco (CAT), which was instrumental to the initiation, creation, drafting, lobbying and followed through this bill from the various plenary sessions debating the bill to the public hearing and eventual approval for passage by both the upper & lower chambers of the National Assembly (NA).

CAT’s January 2008 Abuja inauguration, served as the platform for Dr. Aliyu Modibbo Umar (then Minister of the FCT) to announce the declaration making the FCT smoke-free, effective June 2008.  He at the event also sought the support and cooperation of the legislative arm of government, which was represented at the event by Senator Mamora (Sponsor of the tobacco bill and current Deputy Chief whip of the Senate) to enact and push for an effective bill regulating the tobacco industry’s’ excesses. Senator Mamora gave his assurances for the expedient passage of the bill, which we are today celebrating. The Bill’s essential components include:
A  National Tobacco Control (TC) Committee to guide implementation and future TC policies;
A comprehensive ban of smoking in public places;
Clearly visible tax stamps on cigarette packs;
A ban on sales to minors and by minors;
Prohibition of the sale of cigarettes that are not packaged – but the bill doesn’t specify the number per pack;
A comprehensive ban on advertising, sponsorship and promotion, including by mail, testimonials, brand stretching, indirect advertising, etc;
Health warnings covering 50 percent of the display area of tobacco packages, with the Minister of Health empowered to prescribe pictures or pictogram;
Enforcement provisions to ensure that the law is effectively implemented.
Unfortunately the journey was truncated, as our bill-making process requires action both from the National Assembly (NA) first in discussing and passing a bill. And thereafter, the executive arm of government i.e. the President fulfills its part by giving assent to the bill passed by the NA for such to become law in the land. Because we did not cross these two hurdles back in 2011, we are at the starting blocks AGAIN on a journey to a tobacco control bill before the current NA session ends in 2015.

Knowing previous work that has gone into this without crossing the finishing line and sustained efforts since 2012, this time, the goal is to ensure BOTH legislative & executive arms of government do their part and fulfill their given roles as custodians of the people's mandate who work for a safe environment for all Nigerians.

Therefore, we are mobilizing efforts and intensifying our drive in the attainment of a smoke-free Nigeria NOW. Towards the end of April 2014, the House of Representatives will call for a public hearing to discuss the current bill before it and we URGE you to ATTEND as well as PARTICIPATE in these process by giving feedback directly to your representative and/or also lending your VOICE as YOU join us in the TC RADIO CAMPAIGN and INVITE your FRIENDS & FAMILY to do the same by subscribing via sms. Text (TC Name Email Location Message) to 39405 as together we can make the change we desire.

- Twitter: Follow @TobaccoCtrl on Twitter  and tweet at us using the #TCRadio hashtag
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- For more facts and Tobacco Control tips please visit

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